Altered Beast
by Canadino
Summary: It's a B&E, but not in the 'bacon and eggs' kind of sense. A flashlight, a summer, an empty school. I'm sure you've noticed by now there's no need to move, we're coming to you. Slight Jack/Simon


**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.**

Background music: Altered Beast – We Are Scientists

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Altered Beast

His first thought: they could have chosen a window less noisy in opening, but it was already too late. Jack winced as the window squeaked as he pushed it up, the rust on the edges making an already careful activity even more difficult.

"There's not going to be anyone inside," Simon reminded him, standing next to the boy with a switched-on flashlight in one hand and the other on his hip as he watched the redhead struggle with the window. "The guard won't think there's anyone here in the summer and you know as well as I do that he shirks duty more often than he takes a piss."

"It's the thought that counts," Jack muttered as he gave the window one last heave and opened it enough for the two of them to slip inside.

"Ralph's already inside, if it matters."

"Shush, and come inside already." Jack acted as the lookout as Simon climbed through the window, his movement casting the flashlight's beam across the tables and chairs in the common room and causing flickering shadows to move suspiciously.

Jack gulped, although when he reviewed the situation, it was something to be laughed at, not to be anxious about. It was just a stupid test of courage; to sneak into the school building at night and into the off-limits theater prop closet. The whole test was made safer by the fact that it happened during the summer, when the school was deserted, and the location of the school – it was surrounded by spacious grounds and took even the gardener a couple minutes to run up to the main building in the first place. They would have adequate time to get away.

Now that they were inside, there was one last objective: find the theater room (which they already knew the location of) and get their picture taken by Ralph, who was there to make sure the test was completed. Simon stared at him, tense like a foreign spy, and cocked his head.

"Jack? You can stop holding your breath."

"I wasn't holding my breath." Jack tried to establish his position as boss by taking the flashlight but Simon quickly snatched it away from him and started leading the way to the stairs to the third floor, where the lounge was.

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I shouldn't have picked you to be my testing partner," Jack grumbled, scrambling to catch up to the younger boy. "You're batty and much more mean than everyone thinks you are."

"Not to mention I faint at random times," Simon added, making light mockery of his mysterious condition. "But don't worry, I'm only mean to you." With a dramatic swoon, he collapsed into Jack, nearly sending the boy into the adjacent wall.

"Oy!" Catching the giggling boy, Jack wrestled the flashlight back and held it above his head out of Simon's reach. Honestly! He was head choir boy, but it seemed that sort of leadership didn't earn any respect; Simon still ignored him, Ralph scoffed at his instructions, and Piggy (who wasn't even in choir) badmouthed him to anyone who would listen.

"Alright, you can lead," Simon laughed, pushing Jack forward. "Be a man."

As they walked down the hallway to the stairs, Jack shone the lights through the doors into the empty classrooms. Some of the windows were open to let the disinfectant scent out from the cleaning staff's hard work; the curtains ruffled in the breeze. "Schools are creepy at night, aren't they?"

"They could be haunted too," Simon said earnestly, doing a double-step to keep up with Jack. "You know, with ghosts and poltergeists and stuff from students who died from studying for exams!"

There was a thump overhead and Jack froze, making Simon halt to a stop next to him. "It was Ralph," Jack insisted, hoping he didn't sound afraid. Simon stared up at the ceiling, as if he could see past plaster to see the real source of the sound. "Just making a racket to get us all in bloody trouble."

"Let's go!" Simon said cheerfully, his voice awfully loud in the quiet of the school. Jack winced again and found himself overcome again as Simon took the initiative and marched on into the darkness.

"Hey," Jack called, his voice echoing in the stairway as Simon leapt the stairs two at a time. "Maybe you shouldn't go so fast…you might trip and fall."

Simon stood on the tenth step, giving Jack a skeptical look. "I'm twelve, Jack. I don't need someone to hold my hand up the stairs. Or are you four? Do you want me hold your hand?"

"I'm sixteen!" Jack protested, following Simon up the stairs. "And I'll thank you to respect your elders!"

"Four years doesn't make you too old," Simon chirped as he disappeared across the bend and into the darkness up the stairs. Jack quickly trained his flashlight on him, keeping the boy in sight. "And I like to think my voice makes me indispensable to the choir so I don't think you can kick me out just yet."

"Wait 'till you just hit puberty," Jack muttered darkly. "Then good bye to that cute, high voice."

"Cute?"

Jack waved the flashlight around so the light didn't hit his suddenly flushed face. Simon always had a knack of hearing things he wasn't supposed to; the boy had poked his head in while Jack and Ralph were having a private conversation on _adult magazines_ and had asked loudly what they would recommend to him. "Just keep walking, you bloody wanker."

Simon clamored over the final steps and started down the hallway toward the third floor steps across the floor, making stops at the doors of different classrooms and calling out as if someone could hear him. No one could, right? Jack searched the air around him, preparing himself for something white or spiritual.

"Boo!"

Jack yelped, fumbling and dropping the flashlight into Simon's waiting hands, the dark-haired boy wriggling with amusement over the older boy's reaction. "You should have seen your face!"

"I wish the teachers could see this side of you," Jack grumbled, trying to make his heart slow down to healthy heart beats. Simon tossed the flashlight from hand to hand, a wry smile on his face.

"I act much more civilized in front of adults," Simon nodded. "And strangers. So they don't think I'm weird."

"I think being mute makes you look much weirder."

Simon aimed the flashlight at his chin. "Let's stop and tell scary stories, Jack!"

Jack grabbed him and swung him around toward the stairs. "Let's not and say we did. Now keep walking, you pipsqueak."

Simon laughed again as Jack hurled him down the hallway, suddenly digging in his heels to shine the light into the reading room. "Oh! Did I tell you that Betsy asked me to 'go out' with her here! She said she thought I was interesting because I didn't talk a lot and she liked me because I was thoughtful and stuff…"

"Betsy, the girl in your grade with the braids? Thoughtful? Ha!" Jack shoved Simon along.

"She said she also liked my voice!" Simon squealed as Jack tickled his sides to make him move faster. Running away from the redhead's grasp, Simon ran down the hallway, stopping briefly at the balcony to shine the light into the reception hall. "Right there," he said, as Jack caught up to him and directed his eyes to the chair the beam of light was trained on, "was where I sat when I came here for the first time. My mom was telling the admission lady about how I liked to sing and that lady said I could talk to the head choir boy for more information."

"So that's why I was pulled out of class," Jack mused, remembering back a few months ago when the principal had beckoned him out of econ class to meet a potential student who flashed his dark eyes up at him before returning them to the floor. "You were nice then."

"I'm always nice!" Simon protested, darting away to the stairs. "You don't get when I'm nice, Jack. That's why you think I'm mean." He started up the stairs, tripping over one of them in his haste.

"That's why I said you shouldn't go so fast!" Jack scolded, reaching out his hand as Simon rubbed his knee, still fresh and not bruised. Picking up the flashlight, Jack waited for Simon to put his hand in his and picked the boy up. "You alright?"

"I'm okay," Simon said, sounding chastised, the pain doing its job to make him shy again. His small hand clenched Jack's tightly, staring up at the head choir boy with wide, dark eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing." Simon stared up the stairs again, pulling Jack's hand and swinging it back and forth aimlessly. "It's just that you would make a good dad 'cause if your kids get hurt, you can just help them up and they feel better."

"Like my hands have magical healing powers?"

"You wish!" Simon's voice had gotten mischievous again, hopping up the steps again with Jack in tow. "You can't take a compliment without it going to your head."

"I hope you know I never liked you much."

"That's okay!"

Ralph was fiddling with the costumes when they finally reached the costume room. Sitting in jeans and weathered kicks, he looked the test proctor for a childhood game. Glancing up as the two entered, he picked up a corset that had been on the table, before dropping it so he could see them better. "Don't tell me Jack had to have you hold his hand before he could move a step."

"Yup! I didn't believe it at first too!" Simon instantly dropped his hand, running over to join Ralph on the table, hoping on a chair to propel himself up. Ralph chuckled as Jack shot him an indignant look and held up the camera around his neck.

"Picture time! And I want someone in costume."

"Can't we just take it and get it over with?" Jack was severely starting to wish he was at home, in bed, where two irritating enefriends couldn't touch him with their sarcasm. Simon was climbing all over the place and Ralph was showing no concern. He was the oldest boy in the room; he should take charge.

"Not as fun," Ralph shrugged, checking his camera as Simon pulled out an elegant black wig with long, silky tresses of hair.

"Look!" he called, shoving it on his head and pulling some of the curls to the front so he quickly melded into the look of a pretty, little girl. "How do I look?"

"Cute," Ralph said, leaning on his arm to look. "If you weren't a guy, I'd go out with you." As Simon giggled, Jack frowned and his face flushed; honestly, was he not the only conservative Christian in this room? Simon spotted him and leapt off the table.

"Take the picture, take the picture!" Simon shouted, hopping over next to Jack and pulling him down. Before Jack could blink, Simon had pulled him to his height and kissed him on the cheek as Ralph hastily shot a photo, the two of them dissolving in laughter as Jack pulled away. Jack wiped his face, glaring as Simon stared up at him with bright eyes and a scheming smile.

"Exactly like a pack of children."

End

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Note: I LOVE ALTERNATE UNIVERSES!!!


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